Dr. Miksrants…

I’ve come to the conclusion that I passed my calling in life as a Therapist to follow a more creative path in Film Production. The end result… It’s definitely a double edged sword.

On one hand, I could be raking in the mula while simultaneously eliminating the world of a few crazies (by helping them sort out their shit out). The flip side to that coin though would be listening to peoples problems all day long – every day. I’d probably wind up having a few more of my own as a result of it actually…

On the other hand, the path that I ended up taking by following my trusty intuition allowed me the freedom to explore my creative side. Film production and photography were always just a hobby of mine.  So when i decided to take the leap and say ‘what the hell’ – it was my way of saying ‘screw the cookie cutter way’ let’s THINK and GROW bigger than that. Luckily I’m slowly progressing towards it – whatever the END goal may be.

That said, I still find myself in situations where I’m playing the doctor to many of my friends, family, colleagues and sometimes the odd stranger. And would you believe it – now that FACEBOOK is the all time holy grail for communicating to anyone and everyone, people I used to know fall into this ‘I need help’ and ‘give me your advice’ category as well.  Like speaking to someone I knew in 8th grade and giving them advice (whom I happen to now in the present time know absolutely nothing about) is their freaking solution to it all… Kind of an odd place to be put it in if I do say so myself.

But regardless, it’s the ironies in it all that have me second guess myself about the directions I’ve taken. Like that double edge sword is tapping my on the shoulder reminding me, ‘you have this gift too you know’. A constant reminder that has me in the mindset of ‘was this the right choice?’.

I suppose we all have that though… DOUBTS… Which leads me to the point of this rant… Enough with the blabbing already…

When is the right time to throw in the towel? Do you know? I mean, really do ya?

Here’s my take… I’ll stick with the easiest… Or at least something everyone can relate to on a general basis.

It’s time to throw in the towel when (scenarios):

1. Relationships…

• The current person your dating or possibly married to no longer inspires you to grow as an individual, chooses their personal addictions (whether that be drug, alcohol or even drama related – you name it) over your relationship, is abusive or controlling,  you no longer love/like them, and/or you no longer have anything in common to maintain a healthy and fulfilled relationship.

2. Occupation…

• The current role you are employed in no longer inspires you to progress professionally, you don’t relate or believe in the business practices the company abides by, the relationship you have with your employer is toxic (meaning that you don’t get along with or maintain a respectful relationship with one another), and/or you no longer enjoy what it is you do in which case if effects your productivity levels.

All that said, I’m done ranting and playing DR. MIKSRANTS for the day…

Thanks, drive through!

Peace,

Miksrants

 

P.S. Just to be clear, I’m obviously not an expert in this arena, so the advice given should probably be taken lightly. I am simply just a person providing solutions based on issues that I’ve helped others through not necessarily experienced…

*** All Rights Reserved and Protected By (C) Miks Rants ***

 

Honey Badger Don’t Care…

A while back a co-worker of mine shared this incredible documentary with me about honey badgers. Little did I know that the documentary was actually a spoof and the voice over was replaced with a very flamboyant man who happens to have a knack for making you laugh your ass off with just his voice alone…

Check it out ==>

As much as you laugh about how the narrator Randall reacts to the honey badger scavenger hunts there are a few key lessons to take away from it all. Here’s some of the wisdom I pulled out from the short film…

1. Don’t be afraid to tackle an impossible obstacle/task
2. When you get knocked down, get back up and shake yourself off
3. Persistence always pays off
4. Really awesome quotes to share!

My favorite is ‘honey badger don’t give a shit’! Whenever I am having a crappy day I think this happy little line to remind myself of the honey-badger and it’s drive to survive, fight the good fight, and move on. Or more importantly just to put a smile on my face…

Something about giggling aloud to yourself amongst a crowd of people tends to freak people out… But it’s hilarious nevertheless so pass it on and remember the theme that the ‘honey badger don’t care’ and neither should you (especially if it relates to a crappy day or crappy people).

Peace,

Miks Rants

*** All Rights Reserved and Protected By (C) Miks Rants ***

 

Sunny With A Mild Chance Of Hail Storms…

You ever wake up and feel absolutely ecstatic about what’s on your agenda for the day?

Days like those are great, aren’t they… Especially when you’re able to stop and smell the roses or appreciate the sun coming up over the horizon. It’s day’s like that, that just make it all worth while.

Because I tend to think “sinisterly” my favorite part to these types of days is when everyone else seems to get annoyed with the fact that the sun’s shinning right down on you and your basking in it.

My take with the people who get annoyed easily is, is that they’re just cynical bastards (just because they’re not happy, no one else is allowed to be) and/or they didn’t get quite enough sleep the night before which thereby turns into a reason to piss all over your morning. Days like that and people whom I encounter when I’m high on life and they’re not make me laugh so hard I nearly piss my pants.

I mean that, literally!

Whether it be the guy in line behind you in starbucks who isn’t getting waited on fast enough, or the dickhead behind you who is tail gating your car like a sex addict is addicted to porn (by the way that moron was driving a suped up Neon who must have mistaken his crappy car for a Ferrari), or your roommate, sibling, coworker and/or boss has a hard on so big for you that all they want to do is screw you all day (which falls into the I’m pulling the power-play card). Unfortunately, it’s little incidences like these that can turn your phenomenal sunny days into hail storms…

So my tactic isn’t to say fuck em’ and join in… My tactic is to laugh out loud about it so that they can ALL hear it! That means, grin at the starbucks douche, or wave at the driver in the neon as he passes you doing 90 (give him two toots on your  horn if he gets pulled over by the cop up the road), or clap your hands when you get a crappy email and/or have a crappy conversation from some evil doer you work with, live with or have to deal with.

You’ll be surprised, PROMISE!

Ironically it works out better for you in the long run (i.e. you piss them off even more and you get to blow off the steam they’ve attempted to pump out of you along the way).

Peace,

Miks Rants

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All Rights Reserved and Protected By (C) Miks Rants

 

Top 3 Moments YOU Missed Out on!

Hello there!

It’s been a few months since I’ve taken the time to write on this thing which is weird for me because writing/reading is my thing. But sense I created the blog to be totally transparent with the world I suppose I better come clean on my reasons for being absence in the blog world.

In between organizing a conference for work to traveling to Costa Rica and coordinating a bachelorette party for my girlfriend – a close friend of mine kids died and it’s been a little hard to come up with something clever to just shoot the shit with you about. Mostly because my head hasn’t been in the right place – but lucky for you I’ve finally decided to pull my head out of my ass and get back to the program. Sooooo I’M BACK!

That being said – have I got some stories to tell you! I’ll keep it short in sweet though by summarizing the the top 3 moments you missed out on…

1. La Coca in Costa Rica

Not sure if any of you folks have traveled there but it’s an amazing country full of beautiful people and fantastic food. One of my favorite parts was the beach… The water is warm and for lack of a better word smells like heaven compared to San Diego’s water fronts. (If you’ve been there in the fall/winter you know what I’m talking about.) From lounging to surfing (or attempting to, hey at least I tried) I couldn’t get enough of soaking up the sun’s rays with sand between my toes. Especially when you’re bombarded with the locals who attempt to sell you everything under the sun. Necklaces, bracelets, wood carvings, food, flutes, cocaine, marijuana, and ecstasy…

Uh ya, you read that right… Apparently marijuana is legal but the other stuff not so much. Though the locals are allowed to use it selling it is prohibited. But for the life of me there were NO cops any where insight. The first dude who attempted to sell me some blow I straight up laughed at. Coming from a large city where the shit is not offered to you on a daily basis you get a bit shell shocked (like deer in the headlights moment). When I realized that I and the group that I was traveling with were not being set up I finally began to breath again.

I think I considered it for all of 10 seconds after that, so ya we’ll just leave it at that!

2. Now You See Baby Julio, Now You Don’t…

The day we decided to “attempt” surfing was full of surprises. Julio our guide was phenomenal! Tracking through two glorious hours in the jungle on ATV’s in 3 foot deep mud, my friend slicing up her foot on the route, and topping it of with drinks beach side with a 300 pound pig named Lola we decided it was time to play buddy buddy with Julio.

Marriage, kids, where you went to college at and the godforsaken ‘political’ occurrences today are typically the top four things people discuss. After having expunged ourselves of our own stories it was Julio’s turn to play story time. Thirty minutes later the jiff of it is that he wasn’t married, wanted kids but needed a wife first blah blah blah. So we wrap up to go surfing and three hours later we’re back at the shop trying to wash our feet off of the grime we waded through again on our way back.

Little did I suspect that Julio wanted to keep in touch with us – he gave his facebook information and wha-lah that’s where the story turns. Apparently Julio has a baby, is engaged and was playing us the whole time in hopes that he could get his groove on with my girlfriend who joined us on our extravaganza. Eeerrrrrr… Breaks please. What I want to know from all of this is why the hell didn’t he just say he had a kid in the first place? Especially since he knew we’d be able to see all his photos of him with his kid on facebook. Fuckin weird man… Ya that tricks going to get you laid buddy…

Now you see baby, now you don’t…

3. Ummm, I’ll Take The Anal Beads Please…

So my girlfriend is getting married this week and her bachelorette party was this past weekend. If any of you have participated in a bachelor or bachelorette party you know if can get a little wild! To many booze, people passed out in the bar and getting us thrown out and topping the night off at a titty bar pretty much sums up the night.

But my favorite moment of the night was where we first began. We started the night off @ the Westin Kierland in Scottsdale (or Snottsdale as I refer to it cause let’s be honest fake titties and range rovers are pretty much all you see there) and promptly decided to leave after a round of six drinks that cost us cost $150.00. Before we left though, there were several exciting moments. The first was trying to order our drinks… We literally sat there for twenty minutes before a waiter came to our table to ask us for our drink orders and the only reason why they did was because we went up to the bar to remind them we were waiting for one. The second was the goody bag we made the bride to be sift through and decorate the table with. By the time she pulled out the last gift was right when the restaurant manager decided to walk up and introduce himself to our table (and apologize for the bad service). Lucky for her, the gift was anal beads which I promptly removed from her hands after she had the shock of the century and handed to the manager telling him that this was how our experience at his restaurant was going so far…

All I gotta say is that the look on his face was… Priceless!

There were lot’s of other silly incidences that occurred throughout the past few months while I’ve been away, but I promised to keep it short and sweet so I gotta stop here. Hope you got a kick out of them, till next time…

- Peace,

Miks Rants

P.S. My apologies to you for being away for so long… Next time I’ll make sure to leave you with something before taking off like that.

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All Rights Reserved and Protected By (C) Miks Rants 2011

 

What’s With The Entitlement schmood..

We all have quirks… Whether they’re learned through personal exploration or they’re passed down genetically by the DNA chain-link fence who knows – the point is we all have them, regardless if your able to admit it or not.  Lucky for me, my readers get to learn each one of mine in my previous posts. I’m not ashamed, it’s what makes me – ME!

My hope is that you’ll feel one of two things:

1. You find comfort knowing you’re not alone…

-OR-

2. Laugh your ass off… If not off, then a few giggles will suffice!

Either way is fine by me, so long as I strike a chord somewhere otherwise my attempt of opening up to the world will be unfulfilled and I’m screwed by trying to redeem myself by helping you all out.

Hmmmm… No comments from the peanut gallery on this one, pretty please.

On that note, back to what I was actually beginning to rant about. Entitlement attitudes or schmoods – at least that’s what I call them. Have you ever stumbled upon someone that comes off as though they deserve everything in the world and consequences let alone respect for others be damned?

If not, than let me just say – you’re fucking lucky.  God freaking bless you (yes I slandered a religious term – HELLO have you read any of my other posts? Get with the program) for not having to have dealt with one of these types of people.

I mean I act like it every now again – but it’s purely for shock value.  My gig is to make you laugh or piss you off just enough that will give me room to redeem myself later. But at least I admit that – openly.  In no way shape or form does that mean I deem myself better than any of you or the world in general. Nor does it mean I feel like I can get away with all the shit I say.  I for one know better and do my best to make up for it – ;0) – Usually it’s by making fun of myself, but hey whatever works, right?

There are people out there who think just because they are living that the world owes them something in return for it and if you get in their way – well you’re fucked. Cause god dammit (yes another slandered term, uh-oh – don’t like it? Bite me…) they get what they want.

The great thing about these people is their lack of integrity and respect for others.

Yes, yes – that’s right! I said it’s a great thing…

Why? You ask.

Well curious George it’s plain in simple – they look like assholes and generally have no friends.  At least any that genuinely call them one back. Co-workers and people you’re associated with through work don’t count.  Unless you spend time with them outside of the office on something other than work. Nor does facebook, ya it’s cool to reconnect with old friends or people from high school but they don’t ‘really’ count. Just because you know someone or have a connection to someone because you share the same interests or are a part of the same club does not make you friends. Friends actually hang out, call, text, write one another goofy shit – whatever comes in between, you name it. Anything less than that is not friendship. Come on people…

While I might feel sorry for the bad guys in movies because I have a conscious for the storyline and what turned them bad in the first place – In the real world all I’ll carry for you is empathy. (If you don’t know what that means I’d suggest you stop reading and look it up otherwise my continuation below is going to go way over your head.)

So what if you were abused as a kid or your parents got divorced… Boo-freaking hoo… You’re 30+ years of age now – time to move the heck on already. That chip on your shoulder can’t be used as an excuse forever. You’re your own person – AND – guess what?  That means everyone else around you is too. We all got shit to deal with and demons to overcome.  Yours are no more important than anyone else regardless of how horrible your childhood or adolescent years where. It doesn’t matter how large your pockets are, how many friends you have on facebook, emails you have to catch up on, or how many books /movies you can regurgitate.

The point is you define yourself in the here and now every day, by each breath you take and with every person you encounter.

Sure, it’s a bumpy ride along the way…

I never said it wasn’t going to be. Life is hard, we’re not supposed to just coast through it. Regardless of what background you carry there’s pretty much a common theme throughout everyone of them – we’re here to learn, so you better get your head out of the clouds or pull it out of your ass because if you don’t – YOU – are bound to repeat it until you get IT.

Oh, and for the love of god – if you treat someone like crap or they get in your way on a bad day, step up to your actions, own them and freaking apologize.  It’s the least you can do especially considering how much energy you used up to be a dick.  If you have it for that, you can take time to make up for it as well.

That’s all I’m trying to say…

Peace,

Miks Rants

PS The only stipulation with this is if you’re defending yourself. If that’s the case – than GAME ON and kick some ass!

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All Rights Reserved and Protected By (C) Miks Rants

 

The Necroknockers Return…

I’ll keep this week’s post short and sweet…

In between relatives visiting for the weekend, the July 4th cook off and my great city of Phoenix being swept up in a huge cloud of dust (which has been horribly termed the ‘Haboob’) I haven’t had much time to write.

Yes, yes – poor me..

I know it’s sad but true I am sure you missed me dearly. Did I mention I got the a stomach bug as well? NO? Well do ya feel sorry for me yet? Spending the last couple of days parked on my sofa so I would have easy access to my bathroom is not exactly enjoyable. Especially coming off of a hectic weekend. But hey, when your body’s gotta go, it’s gotta go – you know?

Did you know I love rhyming? It’s another one of my quirky past times. Naturally I love to write – it’s one thing to rant but it’s entirely different to write poetry let alone short stories. But if you’re like me (which may or may not be a good thing) and like to write you know the curse that comes with the gift – you’re mind never stops working… I got a slew of stories that are all half complete – I’m a great starter I just hate having to end them.

It’s similar to watching TV – you’re engaged in what’s going on around you but there is the constant hum of thoughts in between channel surfing. I’m not quite sure if it’s normal or if it’s just something I happen to have but I’m constantly thinking up of stories and poetry to write. My rants are just something that fall in between. A way to get out everything I deem worth venting about…

For instance this week – my BEWARE sign on my door and the screw off welcome I gave the last pair of necroknockers who came to my door apparently didn’t get passed down through the bible chain.

Don’t you people have a “Jesus” help line or something?

Or at least some kind of network where you speak with one another so you know who to bother and who not to bother?

Apparently not, because you came to my door between my mid-flush dash and interrupted my thought process for the day. I already told you I am not interested in your shenanigans. Stay the heck away from my door before I tie my 90 pound pit bull to the thing. If that won’t deter you I suppose I am pretty much screwed to be bugged by you for the rest of my existence. I mean I know you’re all about saving my lost soul and all but don’t you think I’d ask to be saved if I felt it was necessary.

I mean damn – I’m a grown up for Christ sake (no pun intended). I may get shit wrong from time to time, but that’s life – you live and you learn. You get knocked down you pick yourself back up. Deal with it as it comes…

All my life’s answers are not going to come from a book from some dude who thinks long john’s underwear are the appropriate attire underneath your clothes (I live in Phoenix it’s freaking hot) nor from a pamphlet stating that I can’t celebrate my own birth. What kind of nutcase came up with those concepts? I mean really…

Come on people – THINK.

I guess I promised short and sweet… Right well yesterday, as I mentioned before I was sick with the stomach bug. Unfortunately I was unable to attend work so as punishment I had to come face to face with two sixteen possibly seventeen year old pimply faced boys promising me salvation.Right, like they’ve lived long enough to even know what that means.

I gotta give you the dialogue though, otherwise it just doesn’t come across right.\

The Necroknockers Return…

– I open the door –

Necroknocker # 1: Hi is Debbie here?

Me: Debbi… No, no Debbie here… Sorry. (I attempt to shut the door, but fail).

Necroknocker # 2: Oh really? Debbie told us to come by. Well that’s ok. I was wondering if you’d like to discuss Jesus and the all mighty savior’s plan with us today?

Me: Uh… No thanks. Not my thing. (feeling sorry for the kids I continue) You two look like you could use some water. It’s gotta be 110 out today. you want something to drink? (internally I think – maybe whiskey or rum and coke, live a little…)

Necroknocker # 1: No thanks ma’am we’ve got our camel packs. You sure you don’t want to discuss Jesus?

Me: Look kid, I appreciate it… The truth is I found Jesus a long time ago… (I pause and give a cheezy grin before continuing) But then i decided to run far, far away… Now if there’s nothing else I got to get back to drafting up plans on how Lucifer can take over the world.

– Expressions on both boys’ faces are priceless — (wishing I had a camera to capture it)

Necroknocker # 2: Oh, my. Well uh, is there anyone else in the neighborhood who you feel can benefit from our help?

Me: Hmm.. well I sorta got this block marked, you know what I mean. (insert eye wink here) But if you need to get laid I here Debbie next door gives great blow jobs.

Necroknocker # 1: What? (insert horrified look here)

Me: Come on, it’s hot as hell out. I am sure your church will pay your bill when you get hospitalized for dehydration. However I don’t think they’ll offer to pay my electric bill being as I am keeping the front porch air conditioned with by having door wide open. Go find someone else to bug. Better yet, here’s five bucks. Do me and yourselves a favor and go ride your bike to the Fresh ‘N’ Easy up the road to get a drink and get cool. I’m sure Jesus will allow you a break

– I slam the door –

I know what you’re thinking – geeze Mik – Did you have to say “blow jobs”?

My reply to you all is… Yes, yes I did… My next door neighbor might not be Debbie, but that doesn’t matter. I’ve seen the video!

Peace,

Miks Rants

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All Rights Reserved and Protected By (C) Miks Rants 2011

 

Uh, So What Is It You Exactly Do Here – Insert YOUR Name – ?

Let’s face it, it’s unavoidable. Regardless of what position or title you hold in your company sooner or later the inevitable happens… dun, dunn, dunnn – The creepy H.R. staff member you prefer to avoid in the hallway or by the snack machine has been assigned to your department. Not only that but they have your complete work profile and history. Which means every sick day, every work complaint and every work related problem is going to be read.  It gets better though – before you meet the person, you’re going to be given a ten page form that you have to complete before you meet up with them. Yup! More incriminating evidence stacked up against you.

Why is this necessary you ask?

Good question… I guess its because your current boss or employer doesn’t really know did-ally squat about what you do or what role you play despite how often they rely on you to get shit done.  To lighten the mood a wee-bit perhaps it means they’re looking to replace you by bringing in cheaper labor. Yup the goody two shoe college grad who just graduated a month ago that is looking to “please” there way into a company by giving up their dreams to making a large paycheck and succumbing to being called a “yes man” person.

How does this affect you?

This means the daily 9-5 contribution you’ve been making for the past 5+ years means squat. And now, after having jumped through yet another hoop in the business ladder by filling out the paperwork, all your hard work has been dwindled down to 10 pages of yes and no form filled questions (that are pretty much useless to anyone wanting to really know how “useful” you truly are). But hey, there’s “willing” candidates that will happily replace you and do it – FOR LESS… Even if their resume is racked with experience or lack there of. They did go to college after all, right? shit, might as well slap a CEO title on under their signature too!

Nutshell version… 

The economy’s crap right now people. Despite the cost of living going up – employer’s are paying less to the dumbed down version of you. Take a stand already, would ya?

Still lost?

That makes two of us…

Just kidding… I’ve received a lot of requests in the past few weeks about rants relating to work related experiences. Ever since Clarky pulled out his rant for the rant of the week they’ve been steadily trickling in. So in an effort to stick it to the man indirectly for you all that’s what this post is all about… I think…

I guess it goes to show you that regardless of how we try to stand out from the crowd and express originality we generally share the same experiences with one another – even if we feel we’re the only ones who are knee deep in it.

What I want to bring to the table is where do you draw the line from “you should be lucky to have a job in this economy” to plain “naivety” to how truly screwed you are in your current role or by your current boss/employer.

Any takers with this one?

Let me go ahead and take this one out of the batting cage and on to the ball field…

The line get’s drawn when:

• Your current boss/employer is verbally/mentally abusive or god forbid physically abusive.
• Your current boss/employer takes advantage of your “go get-em” attitude and expects you to do everything, but doesn’t acknowledge your for your hard work or initiatives.
• Your current boss/employer takes credit for your work.
• Your current boss/employer blows money like it’s toilet paper but come your annual review there’s no room to give you a pay increase (we all know that $1.00 – $2.00 per hour is going to tip the scale way over).

If you have any additional remarks to add, please feel free to include it in the comments below. I’m guessing you all have something to add or I at least hope you do. This is your chance to quit being a sissy and actually step up to the plate for a chance by telling it like it is instead of sugar coating it to make yourself look good. You know you want to. Don’t be a pussy… Give it your best shot!

All in all it could be worse. I mean take this article for example “Man robs bank for medical care” – trust me it’s worth the read. But just so I don’t loose you from this thread I’ll provide you a brief summary. James Verone a.k.a. “poor schmuck” worked as a delivery man for Coca-Cola.  After 17 years they decided to pull the rug out from underneath him and kick him to the curb. After searching for jobs and becoming more concerned with his dwindling bank account he took the only option available to him – a part-time job at a convenience store. Though the income helped somewhat it wasn’t enough…

Verone’s conclusion = “I’m going rob a bank”!

So what does he do?

He walks up to a bank, gives the teller a note telling her that he’s robbing the bank and to hand him over $1.00.

Wait what?

Yup, Verone decides to rob the bank for $1.00… Though he could use the money his real plan is much more brilliant. He has medical needs after all and we all know that anyone in a penitentiary get’s free medicare, free food and free board. The only sacrifice they have to make is freedom and be ready to throw a few punches should you want to avoid being bruised and bullied for the rest of your sentence (or becoming someones cell bitch, maybe that explains Verone’s wide eyed look in the picture below).

It’s really sad though… America is a great country, but we have a lot to improve on – health care, our education system and – oh wait pretty much the entire economic system. Too bad we can’t all be NFL players on a strike against our billionaire bosses, right?

Any way big shout out to all of the poor buggers facing the ever inquisitive H.R. check up and/or contemplating going to jail because you can’t get a decent job with decent wages and benefits. Just be ready to bend over and stay over until your back forms a hunch in the middle. Good luck though, seriously…

Peace,

Miks Rants

PS  If you happen to stumble upon this and actually know who I am, well please keep in mind this post was a request. Also please note that instead of answering 5-6 people’s requests that were all pretty much the same rants about crappy jobs that I powered through them all by just highlighting the basic distinctions between typical work related experiences and not so typical job related experiences hence the where to draw the line bullet points.

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All Rights Reserved and Protected By (C) Miks Rants 2011

 

My New Founded Love Of Magneto

So I’m continuing on with the evil villain theme from last week. But instead of Darth Vader I’m switching teams and cheering for Magneto a.k.a. Erik Lensherr. I must say that the newly released X-Men: First Class movie was way better than I could have predicted let alone expected. Usually remakes, sequels and prequels suck, but Matthew Vaughn did an impressive job interpreting the Marvel Comics Version. So kudos to him, the cast and crew for turning it into a super movie – I rate it 4 stars!

Actually, I didn’t plan on turning this into a review article. So I’ll stop while I’m ahead…What I did want to rant about was my new found respect for Magneto! If you didn’t see the movie or are unfamiliar with the comic series than you most likely have no freaking clue what I’m referring to. That being said – watch it then come back to this post, better yet here’s the trailer to get your taste buds a little satiated ==> X-MEN FIRST CLASS

The thing is, like all villains – Magneto has a pretty crappy childhood. From the concentration camps to watching his mother being executed before his eyes to being experimented on by his predecessor Sebastion Shaw (who also incidentally shot his mom) his past is simply put – a sad one. Taking a step into the doctor’s chair for a moment, it’s pretty clear that the dude has issues.  But honestly can you blame the guy? It would be hard to go through all of that shit and not wind up a little nutty, right?

So here’s my erk with this whole situation… Why does society automatically label this poor schmuck as “the bad guy”? I mean sure, he ends up being a douche bag to a few hotties, but I don’t actually recall seeing him kill anyone in the movie other than Nazi’s and the guy who shot his mom. No offense to society – but is there really anything wrong with that?

Yeah, yeah – the whole eye for an eye thing doesn’t follow our typical laws per say, but then again the way a lot of our laws and how they’re enforced isn’t exactly squeaky clean either.  Think about it… If this story was true – all Shaw would have to do is pay off one of the judges so he could either get paroled and free to go about his business (which is creating havoc a.k.a. destroying humans) or slapped with an ankle device so he only can go to and from the office. Which ultimately leads to the same ending – the scenario being a dude with a lot of money paying off big brother to get away with atrocious crimes he’s committed in his past. The great thing is though; he can still pass off for an American and get in to the pockets of some big time congressmen to turn the tables at his will behind the screen.

So what has this movie taught me?

Being a villain ultimately means you’re rich, can pay people in high places to get shit done for you and get away with breaking the law and pretty much get anyone you want into bed. Hmmmm…

Though morality is an important factor in life (especially when it ends and you want to walk through the pearly gates and give big Joe a high five) it kind of makes you wonder if it is actually worth it. You know, the whole playing the ethical goody two shoes role…

Devils advocate anyone?

Peace,

Miks Rants

P.S. For all the ladies out there – the actor who plays Erik Lensherr is reason alone to go see the movie. One word – yummy!

All Rights Reserved and Protected By (C) Miks Rants 2011

 

What About Darth’s Happy Ending…

So I’m also a Star Wars fan… I’m actually a superhero fan that leaks over into The Lord of the Rings, Harry Potter, Under World – pretty much anything vampire related and all together – junky (serious on the junky comment – like 55 books in the the last 3/4 months deep in it). Does that make me a nerd? Possibly, but before you snicker please note there’s a reason for it. Plain and simple – reading is my addiction.

Could it be better choices in reading material? Sure, but here’s the kicker, as much as I want to keep up with the latest political flaw, weather epidemic and how to gig – meaning anything that falls into the intellectual category, I just can’t bring myself to finish the fucking book.

Why’s this you ask?

Well dear fellow blogger or curious reader it’s because that shit bores me to tears… Plus if I want to know what the latest catastrophe is all I gotta do it turn on FOX news and bammm, I’m fucked for the rest of the week on trying to overcome any emotional connection I obtained while watching the horrors of the world. Which incidentally is geared at making the Democratic party look as if they’re responsible for all them. Wonder who they sponsor? Hmmm… But to play the fair act and get myself out of the political corner rant, If I want to avoid that stuff I can turn to CNN and fall asleep. So there you go. You’re screwed either way.

I suppose that makes me one of “those” people. You know the people that get sucked into entertainment versus reality. Yup – that’s me, I’ll admit it, even if I do it begrudgingly. But at least I can take one for the team and say I prefer that shit over reality because in all fairness the reality is just a little to overwhelming for me to take in, keep up with and more importantly have to back up should someone question my “opinion” or “political views”.

Whatever happened to freedom of choice people?

Great, you can back up all your reasons with analytics you pulled off of google or the daily news feed from your email inbox.  You want a fucking medal now?

Better yet, do you even know what that shit means?

If so, I’ll shut up – but really looking at the bigger picture how does knowing all of the stats of what’s currently wrong and right with our government play into your daily role as a human being other than deciding on what side of the fence you sit on?

Please don’t give me the “you might only be one individual but together we’re united speech” – cause all I hear is blah blah blah… I’m not ignorant enough to believe that following nothing doesn’t help, nor do I extricate myself from it entirely. I do follow stuff but like I mentioned before – I just prefer to not have the shit on speed dial. If you get my meaning. But just a note for you reader’s in case you still have doubts about my ignorance – I’m a well travelled (lived in 4 countries outside the US and visited 23) and broadly experienced American. Which means I do not by any circumstances think it’s ok to not know anything, but I do pick and choose what I want to know should it fall into the interested or need to know categories. That being said, at the end of the day I prefer to curl up (after the little one is down for the night) in a ball and let me imagination take over a.k.a. – read!

Which brings me full circle to the theme of this rant – What about Darth Vader’s happy ending?

You know how most heroic plots go, right?

Short version = There’s a dude or a chick who has this invaluable power, gift or whatever – yet they think of it as a curse (which I don’t get, but who am I to judge?) or they may not even know they have it. Then they go through the all mighty tasks of discovering it, learning how to use it, and discover who they can trust during the process. If they’re lucky they get a chance at love too. Which usually is in the middle of fighting the horrible bad guy – yadda yadda yadda – that’s what I mean by PLOT.

So here’s my thing, as a kid and now even as an adult I always feel bad for the “bad guy”… Yes, yes – I’m all about admitting my quirks in my rants. I’m not entirely sure why I do it – but it keeps me honest and you people on the edge of your seats reading the screen! Call me crazy, I don’t care, but honest to god I did and still do care about the bad guys. So if you’re laughing or pissed off by my statement know this – at least I got a big enough conscious to feel empathetic for the poor torturous souls…

Yup, you can shut up now because I seriously just bitched slapped you into the next room. One point for me, zero points for you…

That’s what you get when you’re stuck on one side of the fence or political party and are unwilling to consider the opponents reasons for taking the measures they take because you’re head is so far up your ass that your incapable of seeing what you’ve no doubt become – a pawn on a chessboard. But beggars can’t be choosers.

Moving along – why is it that in every silly superhero story the evil dude or chick dies, is sentenced to their inevitable doom or just disappears all together? Better yet, why can’t the poor dude who got bit by a monster thus turning himself into one get the girl without having to get hit by the bullet?

It’s just sad… Plain sad… So for the sake of all the poor bastards out there that had to play a bad guy or are a bad guy this one’s for you… If you run in to Darth please smack him on his ass for me and tell him I’d be happy to call him “daddy” any time! (Hint hint, wink wink… besides my votes on him for being better in the bedroom, somehow the “oh holy Jedi” – Luke just doesn’t shout winner to me…)

That concludes my rants for the week…

Peace,

Miks Rants

P.S. Note to my fellow Arizonians – there’s a Comic Con this this weekend and everyone who’s anyone is going to be there. My boy Kev also has a site that lists all the major events within the area and is holding up a booth at the event, so do yourself a favor stop at it and say hello – he’s great a graphic design, killer at web development and knows the best of the best ==> http://www.tocrowd.com/phxcc 

All Rights Reserved and Protected By (C) Miks Rants 2011

 

Where Did Superman Go?

I’ve been getting a lot of suggestions for rants and I am absolutely loving the feedback what I can write about for upcoming posts. Though I have plenty to rave on about myself, it’s nice to know I can relate to my fellow bloggers and society in general by having the need to vent about stupid shit just because it puts a smile on my face, the readers face or helps me overcome something.

Having said that I got an email a few days ago from a person requesting me to rant about a work situation that occurred last week (Friday to be exact). For the sake of keeping his identity anonymous I’m going to refer to him as Clark Kent.

Yes, yes – I’m a superman fan! But don’t be a hater – I grew up with Superman images everywhere from the TV to the BIG SCREEN to the video games in between, so it’s slowly seeped into my pores. Call me a sponge, I don’t care. The list of actors ranges from George Reeves to Christopher Reeve, from Dean Cain to the modern day version Tom Wellling (who happens to be my personal favorite) and let’s not forget the 2006 Superman Returns star Brandon Routh. Although he “fits” the mold the movie just didn’t do it for me, it was missing something – possibly depth, I don’t know… Watch it and decide for yourself.  I’m not a comic book collector, but I know the history well enough to decipher who fits the mold.. And boy oh boy does the Smallville hunk fill that role well! Just look at the guy…

If that doesn’t do it for you, your either blind or just plain dumb… Maybe both… Sorry if that’s the case, I do so utterly apologize. But come on ladies, live a little and day dream would ya? Either way he’s by far the best option I’ve seen and I have no problem slipping into a quick 3-5 minute daze thinking about him. But that’s neither here nor there, so I’ll keep my fantasies to myself. Well, parts of them anyway because having just said that doesn’t really make sense especially since I typed the keys. Oooppsss…

Where was I? Oh yes, my suggested rant post for the week with the infamous Clark Kent… Clark, if you don’t like my pseudo name for you – whaaaa.. It fits with the theme of the your rant and well damn it I am using Clark as your name. Should you dislike it I can always post your real name and forward the link conveniently to your employer’s inbox, a situation you no doubt wish to avoid, right?

Yup, that’s what I thought – sit boo-boo, sit!

Back to the good stuff…

Rant Suggestion of the week: Where Did Superman Go?

So Clark Kent is a pretty level headed dude. In fact he’s so level headed that he’s referred to as the ‘fire fighter’ within his company because he’s incredibly tactful at putting out – well – fires. Whether it be a computer malfunction or a disgruntled client he can create a solution with the snap of his fingers… Hence the name Clark Kent and his title for Superman of the week!

When Clark arrived at work Friday morning he was hit with a fat stack of settlement reports, several incident reports of disgruntled clients (who coincidentally forgot there credit cards were going to be auto charged – love those calls, yay!) and dun, dun, dunnnnn an unexpected staff meeting. In his case generally speaking, the rule of thumb is that the unexpected staff meeting equates to a huge ass chewing by the big man upstairs. Usually he tends to fly under the radar and get through them without a scratch (I mean he’s superman after all) but this week the outcome turned into more than just a few scratches.

Poor, poor Clark… But let’s get to the good stuff – a.k.a. bumps and bruises…

Clark walked into the employee conference meeting and snaked his usual seat – the chair at the end, opposite the president of the company (I guess he has a bad breath problem and Clark has an issue with smelly breath, so his solution is to avoid it entirely). When the head honcho who I’ll refer to as Lex Luthor walked in the room, the noise level dropped from hushed conversations to the dull hum of the overhead lights above. Lex clearly had an aura about him that told the people in the room he was NOT under any circumstances in a good mood. Immediately eyes started to wander to avoid his stern expression as he peered back into every single employees eyes… That is until he reached Clark. And so the bruises began…

Lex Luthor: “I called this meeting today to discuss company sales and the lack of them. Why is it that I have a staff of 35 people which equates to over $1 million in expenses on my part each year, yet the return from them only equates to $1.5 million?”

Having been completely thrown off guard, the employees who work as department heads each took a turn looking at one another expecting the other to answer Lex’s question. But all that came from the audience was silence…Well silence and a few body adjustments to settle themselves more comfortably into their chairs, if not sink to the floor to avoid Luthor’s unsatiated wrath all together.

Lex Luthor: “Am I to believe you all are incapable of managing your employees well enough to increase sales?”

Continued silence…

Lex Luthor: “I’ll take that as a yes… Since that’s the case how about each of you take a turn and tell me how you propose to solve this within your department…” Lex looked to his right and pointed “starting with you”.

Each employee did their service and announced their idea of how they could increase sales. That is until it was time for Clark to speak. Clark having worked his way up the corporate ladder knew the ins and outs of pretty much each department but finally settled into customer operations because he enjoyed the administration side of the role. Sure he has to deal with complaints, but being a problem solver was what gave him the title of “office fire fighter” in the first place, right? I mean his solution skills were what helped him land the freaking managerial position all together. Had he not been good at them he’d still be stuck in a cubicle making a lousy $15 per hour and barely able to make ends meet. Unsure how to respond Clark remained silent. Panic quickly taking over he cocked his head and responded “Mr. Luther I’m not sure how this affects my department – we’re the settlement department not the sales department.”

Apparently that wasn’t the right answer.

Lex Luthor remained silent for sometime while slowly drumming his fingers on the table below before he replied “I’m extremely surprised to hear that Clark. You of all people. I’m so pissed off right now that it’s taking all of my might not to walk over there and slap you in the face like the woman you are. Try again…”

Wait what, did he just call Clark a pussy? Yes, ladies and gentleman he certainly did…  Though I am unsure if that’s what Clark thought I know that’s what I’m thinking… A dude doesn’t call another dude a woman a.k.a. girl unless he thinks they’re a pussy a.k.a. big ole softy. Good lord, the Lex Luthor title DOES apply here.

Continuing on…

Clark Kent: “Ummm… I’m not even sure how to respond to that… Honestly Lex, I don’t have a clue what you’re expectations are. I could use a little help?”

Again, not the RIGHT answer Clarky boy – geezzzz for the problem solver you are, you’re acting a bit slow. Maybe you’re not fit for the Superman title after all. hmmmmm…

Lex Luthor cleared his throat leaned forward while placing his elbows on the table to make his point and yelled at the top of his lungs “Help? You’re asking me for help? That’s you’re job fire squad. Get your head out of your ass and back in the ball game hero. I need you to think up of a solution for the sales dilemma or consider yourself out of a job. You got it? Is that clear enough for you pretty boy?”

Clark gripped his chair so tight that the arms nearly caved in, clenched his jaw and nodded in agreement.

Lex Luthor: “That’s what I thought, you have one week to get your shit together. Right now you’re dismissed…”

Clark grabbed his folder and bolted out of the room.

Thus ending the rant and request from our fellow ranter – dear Clarky boy. Since he’s still stewing and out of innovative ideas for his department his request was one of two things, help from you folks as well as his way of venting (even if it’s in a round about way).

Please oh please help poor Clark Kent out – He’s lost his Superman mojo.

Peace,

Miks Rants

P.S. Just to clarify if you know me and I ever refer to you as Clark Kent – it’s either a) because you’re hot b) because your a bit of a softy and I’m making fun of you or c) all of the above. In this case since I don’t technically know the dude I’m going with option B.

All Rights Reserved and Protected By (C) Miks Rants 2011